I'm sure. Even after all this time, I would smile.
I don't quite remember when was the last time I saw you, not sure if it was in the beginning of this year or the end of the previous one. Nevertheless, I'm sure I would smile. With disregard of the past silent months, it would be really endearing to see you again.
Except, well, you broke the silence, and I was kind of expecting it. But I can't answer it.
I think I know why I can't do it. I'm pretty sure. Maybe someday I'll explain, maybe not. To me, well, at least to me, our relationship was always kind of ambiguous, that's why I can't answer you, that's why I don't know if I'll explain or not. The thing is, you took the initiative, you broke the silence and you did the right thing by doing so. You were the bigger person there, and I can't answer to that, not now, at least, I'd just screw everything up.
With your message, you called out to me, to us, to our friendship, our companionship. I want to be able to answer to that. But like a said, I can't. I'm sorry.
Trust me, I'd screw us up, I don't have the necessary strength to clear up what I know I need to say to you, so we can have a more honest relationship. I mean, more honest, from me to you.
But, I think, even more than that, I'm afraid that if we get together, I'll put a weight on you, one that you shouldn't carry, you don´t deserve it, and I know you would force me to tell you what is that weight; so, no, not for now.
I'm sorry.
